How to Mend a Broken Friendship ?
Growing up across the street from each other in Twin Falls, Idaho, Lisa Fry and Paula Turner never doubted their friendship would last forevermanifold gauge GHD Hair Straighteners Ant Killer door curtains strip doors. But after Fry married, moved to New York City and had a baby, her letters to Turner suddenly went unanswered. "Do you think I've somehow offended her?" Fry asked her husband.
Finally, Fry summoned the courage to call her old friend. At first, the conversation was awkwardbrake pipe low carbon steel tube hand dryers plastic extruder ball valve manufacturers, yet soon they both admitted that they missed each other. A month later, they got together and quickly fell into their old habit of laughing and sharing confidences.
"Thank goodness I finally took action," Fry says. "We both realized we were as important to each other as ever."There are good reasons to cherish our friendships. Some years ago a public-opinion research firmchina flights cheap sheet metal fabrication indoor playground fitness equipment kids playground, Roper Starch Worldwide, asked 2007 people to identify one or two things that said the most about themselves. Friends far outranked homes, jobs, clothes and cars.
"A well-established friendship carries a long history of experience and interaction that defines who we are and keeps us connected," says Donald Pannen, executive officer of the Western Psychological AssociationChina travel sites China travel agency China tours china wholesale china flights. "It is a heritage we should protect." When a friend hurts you, your instinct is to protect yourself. But that makes it harder to patch up problems, explains William Wilmot, author of Relational Communication. "Most of us are relieved when differences are brought out in the open."
Ironically, says Brant R. Burleson, professor of communication at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., "the better friends you are, the more likely you'll face conflicts." And the outcome can be precisely what you don't want--an end to the relationshippersonalized golf tees china group tours China visa great wall china great wall of china.The good news is that most troubled friendships can be mended. Here's what experts suggest:
Swallow your pride. It wasn't easy, but that's what Denise Moreland of Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii did when a friendship turned sourball valve forged steel valve energy meter 3GP china flights discount. For nearly four months, Moreland, 45, had watched over Nora Huizenga's two young daughters, who were living with their father on the base, while Huizenga, 40, completed training as a dental hygienist in Nevada. "I felt honored to be asked to step in," Moreland says.
When Huizenga returned at Christmas, Moreland recalls, "I had so much to tell her, but she never calledleaflet printing ed hardy t shirts Cheap handbags WHOLESALE HANDBAGS wholesale bags." One daughter had a birthday party, but Moreland wasn't invited. "I felt like I'd been used," she says.
At first, Moreland vowed to avoid Huizenga. Then she decided to swallow her pride and let her friend know how she felt. Huizenga admitted that she'd been so worried about being separated from her family that she'd been blind to what her friend had done to help herwholesale purses Prada Handbags Designer Handbags New jordans designer bags. Today she says, "I would never have figured out what happened if Denise hadn't called me on it."
Apologize when you're wrong--even if you've also been wronged. No one should allow himself to be emotionally abused by anyone. But over the course of a friendship, even the best people make mistakesconvert video to ipod gift bags suppliers Nike shoes coach handbags sports shoes. "A relationship can grind to a standstill if the offender refuses to make the first move at reconciliation," Wilmot explains. "Under these circumstances, it may be best if the wronged person takes the initiative and apologizes--for getting upset, for not understanding the friend's circumstances. When you apologize, give your friend the opportunity to admit that he'd screwed up."
Experts agree that one of the worst things you can do when you're upset is to start a fightair jordans air max nike shox golf tees Replica Handbags . "We don't think clearly when we're arguing," says Michael Lang, a professional mediator in Pittsburgh. Instead, says Lang, ask: "What's going on?
